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The Real Cause For All The Problems In The Middle East

Megan McArdle (guestblogging at Instapundit) finds this ingenius piece by none other than Scott Adams of Dilbert fame:

During the several days that it was 112 degrees and I had no AC, all I wanted to do was build an IED and kill the AC guy who kept driving right past my office and helping other people. In fact, I wanted to kill everyone who didn’t agree with me on just about any point whatsoever.

And I realized that the problem with the Middle East is insufficient AC. If you think about it, virtually all of the organized violence in the world is originating from places where they have poor air conditioning. And in the desert, 112 degrees is considered a pleasant day. Imagine how grumpy you would be at 125 degrees. And guess what I never see on TV when they show footage of the Middle East?

Shade.

Every frickin’ person they interview in the Middle East is standing directly in the sun. Some shade would be a good step toward world peace.

I think there’s something to this. For instance, it’s well over 100 here in Baja North Dakota, and after about ten minutes of the heat, dust, and wind, the thought of firing an AK-47 at the next schmuck who gets in my way sounds really attractive. A couple degrees hotter, and the thought of ululating while doing it might come to mind. (OK, so that was just a cheap excuse to use the word ‘ululating’.) As Adams notes:

At room temperature, you could never convince me to strap explosives to my body and walk into a crowded hotel lobby. But at 125 degrees, I’d welcome the change of pace.

And by Iraqi standards, today would be a cool day. If I had to put up with 117 degree heat all summer, I’d probably be looking for somebody to blow up too.

Which suggests a solution: we can easily alter the climate in the region by dumping a large amount of water into the region. Might I suggest diverting a few comets to create some nice cool freshwater lakes? I’m thinking there are a few nuclear sites in Iran that would make nice sites for such an endeavor…

Statement Of The Day

David Frum in NRO:

If a drunken Mel Gibson did indeed call out, “Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world,” then there can be only one possible place for a man who believes such things: as the next Secretary General of the United Nations.

Semper Fi

John McCain’s son Jimmy is joining the Marines.

While I disagree with many of the Senator’s positions on key issues, there’s no doubt of his heroism, and it looks like his son is ready to carry on that tradition. Best of luck to him.

Is Israel Winning Or Losing?

Michael Totten has a perceptive yet disturbing essay on the situation in Lebanon:

The fog of war makes it impossible for me or anyone else to determine whether or not Israel’s war against Hezbollah is succeeding of failing militarily. But it’s painfully obvious that Israel’s attempt to influence Lebanese politics in its favor is an absolute catastrophe right now.

The (second in a decade) attack on Qana that killed scores of civilians has all but cemented the Lebanese public and Hezbollah together.

Cable news reports that 82 percent of Lebanese now support Hezbollah. Prime Minister Fouad Seniora – whatever his real opinion in private – is now closer to openly supporting Hezbollah in public than he has ever been.

The March 14 Movement (the Cedar Revolution) is, at best, in a coma if not outright dead.

I wish I had a nice answer for how to deal with this crisis. If I did, I’d be calling Ehud Olmert right now and giving it to him. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers here. The nature of Hizb’Allah – the way in which they deliberately hide in civilian populations – ensures that tragedies like Qana are guaranteed to happen again. The fact is that the Israelis were attacking a valid military target when they accidentally hit the building at Qana. When Hizb’Allah murders Israeli civilians, that’s by intent.

The ever-astute Josh Treviño puts it in the right context:

In a sane world, we would give thanks for Hezbollah’s failure to murder, regret what has happened in Qana, and reaffirm the justice of the Israeli war. But this is not a sane world: in place of right and wrong, too many appear to operate in a universe of strong and weak (or, one suspects, Jew and non-Jew) — and their sympathy goes to the weak, even if the weak is a shell of a polity married to a genocide-minded Muslim murder-front.

Israel has to ensure that Hizb’Allah cannot endanger them. Totten may be right that Syria and Iran are benefitting from this war, but Israel has little choice but to ensure that Hizb’Allah is defanged. That may very well mean invading Lebanon en masse and taking a large number of casualties in the process. Leaving an Iranian proxy army at the borders of Northern Israel just isn’t an acceptable option for anyone.

One commenter at Totten’s site does have an idea about how to fight terrorist groups like Hizb’Allah:

Asymetric warfare makes the military branch of a terrorist organization hard to hit - but it leaves the supporters of terrorism in a relatively vulnerable position. If the world were an intelligent place, we’d be fighting the strategy of asymetric warfare, not its army or its cities.

The state leaders, bureaucrats and bankers who support Hez would be our targets. As Sun Tsu said:

Thus, what is of supreme importance in war is to attack the enemy’s strategy;

Next best is to disrupt his alliances;

The next best is to attack his army.

The worst policy is to attack cities. Attack cities only when there is no alternative.

The world in general seems to have read that advice backwards.

Indeed, much of our strategy in this war is still rooted in the old doctrines of 20th Century warfare when the war we’re fighting is a 21st Century war – of all the criticisms of our invasion of Iraq that always struck me as the most convincing. As Glenn Reynolds observes:

Still, so as not to fail at making positive proposals myself I’ll make one suggestion: The real problem in the war on terror, I think, is a relatively small number of terror-backers in Iran and Saudi Arabia. Why aren’t we waging unconventional warfare against them? They undoubtedly have toes we can step on in the form of business interests, overseas accounts, vacation homes, etc. Would we make more progress by targeting those sorts of things, rather than fighting their cannon fodder in the field? If I recall correctly, a shift to that strategy was what ended the Philippine insurgency a century ago.

But I’m no military expert, so there may be good reasons why we’re not doing this. Or we may, in fact, be doing it and it just may be under the radar, though I kind of doubt that.

I’m not sure we are doing that, but at this point, it’s almost certainly worth trying. The very nature of asymmetrical warfare puts conventional powers like the US and Israel on the defensive: and the survival of both Israel and ultimately ourselves depends on how effectively we can neutralize these asymmetric threats. If we cannot, then we had better be prepared for a period in history that will make the Dark Ages look like a walk in the park…

UPDATE: Interestingly enough, The New York Times reports that many in Iran are nervous about Hizb’Allah’s chances:

No matter how this conflict is resolved, Iranian officials already see their strategic military strength diminished, said the policy experts, former officials and one official with close ties to the highest levels of government. Even if a cease-fire takes hold, and Hezbollah retains some military ability, a Lebanese public eager for peace may act as a serious check.

In the past, Iran believed that Israel might pause before attacking it because they would assume Hezbollah would assault the northern border. If Hezbollah emerges weaker, or restrained militarily because of domestic politics, Iran feels it may be more vulnerable.

“This was God’s gift to Israel,” said Nasser Hadian, a political science professor at Tehran University and an expert in Iranian foreign policy. “Hezbollah gave them the golden opportunity to attack.”

I’m not so sure of that. The Iranians are no doubt seeing this is a proxy war (because it essentially is), and Israeli’s military might seems to be faltering. However, the war in Lebanon has exacerbated the already violent Sunni-Shi’ite divide in the Muslim world, and as Iran criticizes other regional powers, any idea of Muslim unity gets more and more far-fetched.

A Machiavellian might think that a divide-and-conquer strategy might divert resources that would otherwise go towards terrorism – however, the effects of such a conflict would probably throw world oil markets into chaos and have a devastating effect on the world economy. Sadly, that scenario may be far closer than we’d be willing to admit.

Because What The World Really Needs Is One More Lawyer

Glenn Reynolds has a bit on whether law school is a good idea or not these days.

Which is great, because in about a month I’ll be starting law school.

As he mentions:

My take: Now that a standard B.A. is worth about what a high school diploma used to be — an entry ticket, and no more — a law degree is probably the closest graduate analog to what a liberal arts B.A. used to be. It’s good for a lot of things besides law. But, like a liberal arts degree, it’s not for everyone. An M.B.A. does something similar, though perhaps a bit narrower, but does it in two years.

In a lot of ways, I think that’s true. I’ve always joked that a BA lets you manage at the Gap rather than just fold clothes – and sadly enough, that’s not all that far from the truth. Unless you want to found your own business (which is stressful in its own right), the best way to get ahead today is to have some sort of advanced degree. College attendence is much less exclusive than it was, and since so many people have BA degrees, the level of competition is that much greater.

I’ll be moving back to Minnesota (where voting Republican actually matters) in the next two weeks, and then will start law school in late August. Given that my first semester schedule includes Contracts, Torts, and Civil Procedure, I figure if I can survive that much I should do fine.

I’ve known this was a step I wanted to take for a while now – although it’s not for everyone. The next three years will involve a massive amount of work, but it’s a challenge I’m anticipating. Then again, we’ll see how much I like it once I’m hip-deep in contract law and torts…