That’s Not Quite The Right Kind Of Stimulus
From this FARK thread comes the ultimate idea for what to do with that upcoming “economic stimulus” check:
I’m going to go stimulate the economy. For $300, I’m going to give the economy such a stimulating that I leave it quivering and panting for breath, drops of sweat running down its spine, flush with endorphins and ready for a nice long cuddle. But because it’s only $300, the economy isn’t going to get its cuddle. Instead, I’m going to check my watch, touch the economy gently on the cheek and say that I had a wonderful time, but that it’s time for me to go. I will walk out, leaving the economy lying there feeling ultimately unfulfilled and a little bit ashamed of itself.