Dealing with the Pacifist Movement

This has been going around in an email for quite some time, and is quite funny…

What to do if you happen upon a peace rally by
naive hemp-shirt-wearing college idiots. To teach
them why force is sometimes needed:

1) Approach ignorant student talking about
"peace" who’s saying there should be "no

2) Engage in brief conversation. Ask if military
force is appropriate.

3) When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"

4) Wait until he says something to the effect,
"Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."

5) When he’s in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.

6) When he gets back up to up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values
to strike you, because that would "be awful and he
should not cause more violence."

7) Wait until he agrees pledges not to commit additional violence.

8) Punch him in the face again, harder this time.

Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.

I would add mentioning that the reason you hit them was due to the "root causes" of US imperialism to ensure that the person doesn’t strike you back.

NOTE: Don’t actually try this, it’s a rhetorical experiment, mmkay…