O Brain, Where Art Thou?

Yet another celebrity feels the need to spout off on the evils of war – this time it’s actor George Clooney who has been engaged in a one-man PR campaign against the war. Appearing on a German TV program, Clooney had much to say:

"America’s policies frustrate me," Clooney said in a German television program. "I think a war against Iraq is as unavoidable as it senseless. I think it’s coming. But I also think the real danger is going to be what happens after it."

I’m certain that Mr. Clooney has been literally straining himself in frustration over this war. I’m also certain that Mr. Clooney hasn’t bothered to read or understand the justifications for this conflict, or else he’d realize that it’s far from senseless.

Clooney, who in interviews with European newspapers has accused Bush of war-mongering over Iraq, is on a growing list of Hollywood celebrities to speak out against war. Others include Sean Penn, Ed Harris, Dustin Hoffman, Madonna and director Spike Lee.

Well, at least Mr. Clooney is in good company. I’m sure the combined geopolitical knowledge of that group make them some of the foremost minds in foreign policy. With a total of 0 years of experience in formulating government policy, this group should certainly be given the reigns of US Middle-East policy at once!

"You can’t beat your enemy anymore through wars; instead you create an entire generation of people revenge-seeking," Clooney said in the ARD television program "Beckmann."

Yes, that’s exactly why Mr. Clooney’s car was bombed by a group of angry Nazis seeking revenge for World War II. Or that might explain why the Japanese continue to hate America so much that they bombard use with products containing cute kitties designed to weaken our national resolve so that the Greater Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere can once again rise dominant across the globe. Because as we know, wars never solve anything. (Anything other than slavery, genocide, oppression, Nazism, fascism, etc, etc…)

"These days it only matters who’s in charge," Clooney said. "Right now that’s us — for a while at least. Our opponents are going to resort to car bombs and suicide attacks because they have no other way to win."

So we should follow the example of other countries such as France, and preemptively surrender to terrorists before they can strike. Heaven forbid we have an enemy who would resort to car bombs or suicide attacks to get their greivances aired! What would be next? Turning passenger aircraft into suicide bombs and knocking down sections of Manhattan?

Someone needs to remind Mr. Clooney that if we allow terrorism to become a viable method of getting things done, we’ll see more terrorism. If we send the message that terrorism quickly leads to becoming a pile of charred rubble on the desert floor, we get fewer terrorists. Plus, if we make Iraq a nice place to live, a lot of people who were on the fence about the whole freedom and democracy thing might actually be willing to start making changes to society.

Clooney, 41, said Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was making a mistake to think a war against Iraq would be an easy win for the United States.

"I believe he thinks this is a war that can be won, but there is no such thing anymore," said Clooney, who starred in a film about the 1991 Gulf War "Three Kings" that took a dark look at the war to drive Iraq out of Kuwait.

Oh, so Mr. Clooney starred in a movie about Iraq! Well, that certainly makes him a credible source of foreign policy advice.

"We can’t beat anyone anymore," added Clooney, who has called it unfair that Americans opposed to war are being branded unpatriotic.

Clooney, who won fame for his leading role in long-running hospital drama “ER,” has also appeared in films including "Batman and Robin," "The Perfect Storm" and "Brother Where Art Thou?."

I won’t brand Mr. Clooney as being necessarily unpatriotic. However, I will brand him as being misinformed, clueless, intellectually sheltered, and just plain wrong. I will also brand most of his films as crap, and I will especially brand "Batman and Robin" as being quite possibly the shittiest movie that was ever smeared onto the screen, and being periously close to a crime against all humanity.

I will gain a lot more respect for the celebrity that responds to a question on the war with Iraq in this manner: "I am a move star/rocker/talentless hack. I don’t know crap about foreign policy. I couldn’t find Iraq on a map if you gave me directions. My life consists of reading things from a script and looking pretty. While I may have opinions on Iraq, my opinions are entirely irrelevant since I can’t be bothered to read a newspaper most of the time, and wading through a book is just right out. So please ask someone who can offer you an informed opinion rather than mouthing inane babble like that ditzy Sheryl Crow."

One can dream, can’t one?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.