Deities For Bush

Pat Robertson has said that God told him that Bush would win in an landslide. First of all, I tend not to believe anyone that think’s he got a line to the Almighty. Second of all, if God’s a Bush guy… errr…. deity, who are all the other false gods voting for?

My guess is that Quetzlcoatl is probably a Kucinich guy. After all, he’s already got the Grandfather Twilight Vote.

And the Greek Gods are definitely for Clark, who’s supposed to be the Democrat’s deus ex machina anyhow. They have to love a campaign secretly controlled by a group of oversexed and arrogant power-mad puppeteers behind the shadows. But enough about the Clintons.

Cthulhu has the Kerry vote. After all, Kerry is a craggy New Englander who looks like he could have been a grad of the prestigious Miskatonic University. Somehow I’d be less than surprised if Kerry sleeps with a copy of the Necronomicon under his pillow. When he starts proposing fisheries reforms to keep his Old One friends out of lobster cages, worry. He may have mortgaged his home, but there’s always room for him R’leyh…

Edwards has the support of Sisyphus. After all, their jobs are starting to look awfully alike.

And Dean… well, Dean doesn’t seem to believe in anything supernatural (except when below the Mason-Dixon line), but you’d better believe that his campaign offices have the distinct odor of brimstone in the morning. After all, how to you go from a small-state governor to the frontrunner so quickly?…

UPDATE: And what does God do after taking with Pat Buchanan – how about show up naked and drunk at an Austin, MN Burger King! My guess is that he just wanted to visit the Spam Museum…