I’ve decided to do something that could do irreparable damage to my life and sanity.
I’m going to watch all 55 agonizing minutes of John Kerry’s speech tonight. Even though I know it will be the most mind-shatteringly horrifying work since Alhazred created the forbidden Necronomicon and already one Kerry speechwriter was consumed alive by invisible demons while working on the speech, I’m willing to take that risk. Why, you ask? Because I’m willing to suffer for the art of blogging…
Fortunately, I’ll bring my trusty assistant Schells with me. I’ll be needing his comforts to survive such an ordeal.
Pray I come back alive… and not insane…
…well, more insane…
UPDATE: Apparently cries of Iä Iä Kerry ftagn! can be heard from the Fleet Center. Rumor has it that Boston was picked because Dunwich was too small to host the convention.
If John Kerry’s speech accepting his party’s nomination is enough to send you over the edge, how are you ever gonna be able to handle the numerous speeches he’ll be giving over the course of the eight years he serves as President?
Thankfully the chances of having that happen are slim to none. Even if Kerry (God forbid!) manages to get elected, he’s a one-termer. Once the Democrats don’t have Bush to kick around anymore they’ll fall apart. If I were a Democrat looking towards the long term, I’d be praying Kerry loses.
I too, plan to brave that 55 minutes …. it’s a shame our party abhors drugs …. if there was ever a reason to partake — tonight’s the night
LOL
Face it, Jay. The Democratic tide is overwhelming. We’re on the verge of dominating the country for an even longer period of time than we did from 1954 to 1994. John Kerry in 2004. John Kerry in 2008. John Edwards in 2012. John Edwards in 2016. Barack Obama in 2020. Barack Obama in 2024. You get the idea. 🙂
I wounder what the Las Vegas odds on that one would be.
Just the fact that Kerry has chosen to speak a whopping 55 minutes bodes poorly for his performance tonight…it shows that he has learned nothing from the criticisms of his communication style that have abounded during the campaign season, from observers of all political persuasions…
About the same odds as Mira Sorvino parachuting naked onto my balcony holding a reuben sandwich and a cold beer…
We should also keep in mind that if the speech is 55 min long, then the actual presentation will last longer, with the obligatory applause and such…and with Kerry the applause will be obligatory, and not heartfelt…
Bottom line: a Kerry snoozathon tonight…may be the equivalent of a frontal lobotomy…