The Real Cause For All The Problems In The Middle East

Megan McArdle (guestblogging at Instapundit) finds this ingenius piece by none other than Scott Adams of Dilbert fame:

During the several days that it was 112 degrees and I had no AC, all I wanted to do was build an IED and kill the AC guy who kept driving right past my office and helping other people. In fact, I wanted to kill everyone who didn’t agree with me on just about any point whatsoever.

And I realized that the problem with the Middle East is insufficient AC. If you think about it, virtually all of the organized violence in the world is originating from places where they have poor air conditioning. And in the desert, 112 degrees is considered a pleasant day. Imagine how grumpy you would be at 125 degrees. And guess what I never see on TV when they show footage of the Middle East?


Every frickin’ person they interview in the Middle East is standing directly in the sun. Some shade would be a good step toward world peace.

I think there’s something to this. For instance, it’s well over 100 here in Baja North Dakota, and after about ten minutes of the heat, dust, and wind, the thought of firing an AK-47 at the next schmuck who gets in my way sounds really attractive. A couple degrees hotter, and the thought of ululating while doing it might come to mind. (OK, so that was just a cheap excuse to use the word ‘ululating’.) As Adams notes:

At room temperature, you could never convince me to strap explosives to my body and walk into a crowded hotel lobby. But at 125 degrees, I’d welcome the change of pace.

And by Iraqi standards, today would be a cool day. If I had to put up with 117 degree heat all summer, I’d probably be looking for somebody to blow up too.

Which suggests a solution: we can easily alter the climate in the region by dumping a large amount of water into the region. Might I suggest diverting a few comets to create some nice cool freshwater lakes? I’m thinking there are a few nuclear sites in Iran that would make nice sites for such an endeavor…

4 thoughts on “The Real Cause For All The Problems In The Middle East

  1. Of course! Why didn’t I think of that! The reason must be GLOBAL WARMING! It certainly has nothing to do with the fact that the jet stream is parked over Canada keeping cooler northern air from descending and everything to do with all those jackasses that drive SUVs!

    I’ll listen to Al Gore when he starts saying that this country needs to engage in a crash program to develop breeder and pebble bed reactors to replace at least 50% of our electrical generation by 2025. Because if we’re really serious about global warming, that’s the only viable method we have to slow it. Everything else is just pissing in the wind if you believe Gore’s own data.

  2. “we can easily alter the climate in the region by dumping a large amount of water into the region.”

    Well, that is what my brother-in-law had in mind when after several weeks of never-ending heat in the Romanian capital, Bucarest, a thunderstorm broke loose. Rain, finally.

    But all that that did was make the city hot AND wet (which is good if it is a woman, but not in a city…)

    By dumping all that water (from the ocean, maybe?) on those hot dry places you only make them hot and muggy. Put different – you make them Minnesotan. But maybe that would make the people there vote Republican 😉

    Anyway… some shade is supposed to be a major step toward world peace? Sun-shades (as in sunglasses) might be – if you wear them hippy style while under the influence hippie style. What it takes for world peace is – world drugs. Cue your local Columbian drug lord.


  3. Tsunami alert…..

    More nasty polls for Republicans today. Ken Lucas is ahead of Geoff Davis by 14 points in KY-04. Meanwhile, new Rasmussen polls show Claire McCaskill leading Jim Talent by three points, Sherrod Brown leading Mike DeWine by two, and Maria Cantwell surging ahead of Mike McGavick by 11 points.

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