Remember kids, don’t eat the iPod shuffle.

Licking it, however, is marginally acceptable.

It appears as though those “doodles” supposedly left behind by Prime Minister Tony Blair were in fact made by none other than Bill Gates and were in fact not “doodles” at all, but the source code to the next version of Windows. It also explains why the paper mysteriously turned blue and erased itself.

UK tabloid The Mirror finds some of Tony Blair’s doodles and offers some psychological analysis to boot.

Nothing earth-shattering there – fortunately the Prime Minister took the page filled with hearts and “I LOVE POSH SPICE” with him…

One prosecutor finds that he’s faced with the jury pool from hell:

Defense attorney Leslie Ballin called it the “jury pool from hell.”

The group of prospective jurors was summoned to listen to a case of Tennessee trailer park violence.

Right after jury selection began last week, one man got up and left, announcing, “I’m on morphine and I’m higher than a kite.”

When the prosecutor asked if anyone had been convicted of a crime, a prospective juror said that he had been arrested and taken to a mental hospital after he almost shot his nephew. He said he was provoked because his nephew just would not come out from under the bed.

Another would-be juror said he had had alcohol problems and was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer. “I should have known something was up,” he said. “She had all her teeth.”

Another prospect volunteered he probably should not be on the jury: “In my neighborhood, everyone knows that if you get Mr. Ballin (as your lawyer), you’re probably guilty.” He was not chosen.

The case involved a woman accused of hitting her brother’s girlfriend in the face with a brick. Ballin’s client was found not guilty.

Sometimes life really is stranger than fiction…

I think even the most obsessive of nerds have absolutely nothing on this guy…

Of all the people who could win the lottery, this one is perhaps one of the most deserving.

Well, looks like Target does carry everything…

I’m sure this will be on everyone’s Christmas list this year….

UPDATE: For some reason (like a couple of million hits, I’d imagine) Target removed the “offending” entry – however a screenshot has been preserved for posterity…

A game company has created a digital simulation of the assassination of John F. Kennedy in which players try to match the circumstances of the President’s death.

I’m not sure what the point is. The Discovery Channel already did an accurate forensic test showing that the assassination could and likely was done by Oswald and Oswald alone. A video game engine doesn’t have the kind of accurate physics necessary to simulate something as complex as a high-powered rifle bullet, no less the passage of a bullet through the human body. While the makers of this game are trying to cloak themselves in historical research, this is nothing more than a disingenous and disgusting way of making money off of a national tragedy.