This e-mail has been circulating around for a while and is worth a chuckle. After reading it, take a note of the signature at the bottom.
A funny thing happened to me yesterday at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia):
A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war. He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn’t be able to count on the
support of France.
I told him that it didn’t surprise me. Since we had come to France’s rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their
ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface at some point in the near
future anyway. That is why France is a third-rate military power with
asocialist economy and a bunch of wimps for soldiers.
I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France’s support was
only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would
shoulder 85% of the burden, as evidenced by the fact that the French officer
was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way around.
He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he would like to, I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and beat his
ass in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average Frenchman.
He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Mary Beth Johnson
LtCol, USMC
PS France is only good for two things:
Champagne and surrendering!
Like all e-mail forwards, it should be taken with a grain of salt, but it still makes for one hell of a funny story.
I have seen this before, and got quite a laugh the first time. Of course this sodlier’s grasp on history is very weak.
1) France maintained an independant nuclear detterent during the Cold War and did not need the US or anyone bailing them out.
2) The French hung onto the Indochina longer than we did, and I would hardly call our defeat nearly twenty years after they left as “bailing them out”
3) World War I had many decisivie battles that were led by French Generals, especially Ferdinand Foch who proved to be an apt and skilled general. France lost almost an entire generation of men in that war. I hardly call that cowaridce.
4) As far as toughness goes, I would put the French national rugby team (who is one of the favorites to win this summer’s world cup) up against any american football team in the country. Okay a bit non-sequitir. But they French kicked the crap out of the Welsh, English, Scottish, Irish and Italians in last year’s European Rugby Championships. Surely that has to count for something.
5) At the end of the day.. American historical revisionism is what adds a lot to these jokes. It makes for some good punchlines I wholeheartedly agree, but is also shows people in the American millitary are surely are not the sharpest tools in the shed.
MY RESPONSE BY NUMBER:
1. WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT TIME THEY ARE IN DANGER OF BEING ATTACKED. MAYBE THEY WILL HAVE TO FIGHT THIS BATTLE ALONE, AND THEN WE WILL SEE HOW WELL THEY DO! AND SINCE YOU DEFEND THEM SO WELL, YOU SHOULD GO FIGHT WITH THEM!
2. SINCE FRANCE “MAINTAINED” SO WELL, WE ARE SURE THEY CAN DEFEND THEMSELVES THIS TIME AGAINST NUCLEAR ATTACK. MAYBE ONLY THEIR ROACHES WILL BE LEFT STANDING AND THEY WILL HAVE THEMSELVES TO BLAME!
3. FRANCE LOST ALMOST AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF MEN FIGHTING FOR THEIR COUNTRY…….BOO HOO! WE LOST MEN FIGHTING FOR THEIR COUNTRY. NOW WE ASK FOR THEIR HELP AND THE WIMPS REFUSE! I SAY “FOCH YOU!”
4. IF FRANCE IS EVER ATTACKED, MAYBE THEIR “RUGBY TEAM” CAN DEFEND FRANCE! THEY HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THEIR MILITARY HAS! AND MAYBE THAT IS PART OF THE FRENCH MAN’S PROBLEM……..HE’S TOO BUSY PLAYING WITH HIS BALLS!
5. AS FAR AS YOUR COMMENT “people in the American millitary are surely are not the sharpest tools in the shed”, YOU SHOULD DO A SPELLCHECK AFTER WRITING SOMETHING. YOU WILL SEE THAT NOT ONLY AREN’T YOU SHARP, YOUR TOOL IS PROBABLY ALWAYS SOFT!
IF YOU ARE AN AMERICAN AND WROTE THAT, THEN YOU SHOULD THANK GOD YOU ARE ONE! IN ALOT OF COUNTRIES YOU WOULD BE KILLED FOR WRITING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!
While not a “France-basher” per se, I would like to ask how you define “American Historical Revisionism?”
Are you trying to say that we (and our Allies) DIDN’T liberate France from German occupation in WWII? Are you trying to say that the French owe us nothing? Whe is the last time in our “American Revised History” that you can think of that we refused to let them use our airspace (like they did to us in 1980), or we modeled our entire fight for national independence after theirs (like they modeled their revolution and journey into democracy after our success).
And why do you suppose the French are so against eliminating Iraq as a threat to world peace? Try looking at their business arrangements, and argue that they’re being entirely objective in this matter after you see that they make a tremendous amount of money (illegally) by doing closed-door business with Hussein!
Wake up, Americans, and realize that Germany and France (and even Russia) are so economically motivated here as to be unable to speak objectively on the matter at all, and to be fair, should entirely recuse themselves from the issue.
Hey Justin! Before you go off half-cocked on who is sharper than whom in the tool shed, especially when referring to our troops, or “Sodliers” as you put it, perhaps you should use the actual English language, not your pig-ignorant language. Examples? Sure, here you go:
“Of course this sodlier’s grasp on history is very weak.” It’s soldiers, you over-achiever.
“France maintained an independant nuclear detterent…” It’s INDEPENDENT nuclear DETERRENT, dolt. Do you ever look at what you’re typing, or does it just spill out like poop from a diaper?
“World War I had many decisivie (what the hell is that word?) battles that were led by French Generals, especially Ferdinand Foch who proved to be an apt and skilled general. France lost almost an entire generation of men in that war. I hardly call that cowaridce.”
I hardly call that last statement rational thought. Foch you indeed, Einstein!
“4) As far as toughness goes, I would put the French national rugby team…”
It does count for something. It means that when all the fighting is over, the French will still be playing with their balls.
“At the end of the day.. American historical revisionism is what adds (…) I wholeheartedly agree [with], but is also shows people in the American millitary [military, you genius] are surely are not the sharpest tools in the shed.”
Based on your own comments, I’d say you must be at least a Colonel. Since you’ve shown who is really sharp though, I’d say you’re more like a Kernel… of corn… in my crap. How can anyone take you seriously with your garbage-level literacy & grammar, let alone your argumentative points?
Here’s one for your level: “Hey I think France would win in a war against the Girl Scouts, because they have cooler uniforms.” To think you actually enjoy freedom in my country! It’s too bad we have seatbelt laws to protect you people from yourselves. I say let Darwin have a crack at you, and let you exterminate your own genes for the good of mankind.
If the French are so cool and trendy, go live there, because we don’t want you. Enjoy the cheese and sweat smell, Pierre.
Hey guys! You’re gonna love me! I’m French! I’m currently an exchange student in the US and I have a few things to say abiut the WW and cowardice:
America came in both world wars WAY after France did. WW1 started in 1914 for France and 1917 for the US. So who’s talking about taking time to think about what you’re doing?
During WW2, thousands of French – including my grand-grand father – died of torture because they refused to give away informations to the nazis. Who’s talking about cowardice?
By the way, it’s not by insulting the French that you’ll get them on your side. Did you think of Americans that are in France right now and are getting american basing? If you only thought of them, you would stop doing to other what you sure do you them to go through.
by the way, 1.5 million French died in battle during WWI. It’s more than the total of American casualties in US history.
Talking about courage, you showed it to the world in Vietnam: American casualties= 55000
Vietnamese= 2 or 3 million
Complete technological and industrial superiority is sometimes not enough.
Julien