Ann Coulter Was Right!

It appears that the Left is now admitting that the Left Coast really isn’t a part of America! Don’t believe me? Then read this:

"I tell my friends I’m safe in the Bay Area," one German said. "People here even apologize to me for what Americans are doing in Iraq. They say they are sorry."

Yes, sorry about that whole liberation thing. Heaven forbid that we stop the worst dictator since, well Hitler. Too bad that people who also benefitted from a US military actions (that killed hundreds of thousands of civilians) as well as billions of Marshall Plan aid have grown so complacent over the last fifty years.

"Berkeley isn’t America, and neither is San Francisco or Oakland," a second German added. A third interjected, "I don’t think I would live anywhere else."

Well, looks like Ms. Coulter wasn’t just spewing venomous invective after all! In fact, she was right. (Yes, it does pain me to say it… but even a broken clock is right twice a day.)

So what do these brave pro-fascist dissenters want to do? Why defect from the United States!

I wish to propose an immodest remedy for this sorry situation: We, the people of the Bay Area, need to leave the United States. We are held prisoner by a foreign power, colonized by an alien civilization. We require cultural and social self-determination. We demand, in short, a declaration of independence — and our own nation.

What would an independent Bay Area (or Wackistan as it should be called) look like?

Might the liberation of the Bay Area unlock similar positive change? Think of the model social legislation that a Bay Nation could enact: bans on guns altogether, full legalization of same-sex unions, an expansion of public television and radio, complete decriminalization of marijuana, basic health care for all, environmental protections that would be the envy of North America.

So in other words, you’d have a socialist paradise right? Why everyone would want a government-controlled media, a health care system that denies patients basic care because the cost to the state is too high, and a climate that makes doing any business impossible.

I have a better suggestion. There’s a place that already meets almost all of those criteria, and its only 90 miles away from the United States, easily within reach of our Bay Area socialist friends. It’s called Cuba. If you ignore the trials of dissidents, the massive human rights violations, the secret police, and the crumbling infrastructure, I hear its a nice place to live. (Of course, the Bay Area apologizes for such dictatorial states all the time, so long as they don’t play nice with the US.) Just make sure that your tickets are one way only, please.

2 thoughts on “Ann Coulter Was Right!

  1. First of all, I am speechless to hear that Kim Jong Il has been overthrown and the people of North Korea have been liberated. Here I thought the US was so busy trying to take down Saddam Hussein, considered either #2 or #3 on most foreign policy experts list of the worst dictators alive today. I must have completely missed the news that the universally-accepted #1 dictator of the world, Kim Jong Il of North Korea, has been taken down by the US too.

    As for the rest of your editorial….I often find myself just as embarrassed by the “Left Coast” style of liberalism as I am by modern-day conservatism. Well, a few days a year anyway. But given the current poll-of-the-minute numbers, your boy Bush actually has a 5-point lead in the 2004 Presidential race in California. Of course it’s not likely to last, especially as people like yourself consistently hurl your regional warfare hate-mongering at them like sledgehammers to ensure that they’ll always turn their back on the GOP at the end of the day because of its zero tolerance for dissent.

    Your infantile comparison of the Bay Area to Cuba is repeated by fringe-right GOP hacks on a near-daily basis, but the intriguing irony is that America’s Republican Party of today actually has much more in common with Cuba than anyone on the Left. Consider if you will the aforementioned intolerance for internal dissent. The GOP’s ongoing methodology of bullying dissent into silent submission after wrapping themselves in the American flag has been building and building since 9-11, yet has reached a sickening new low this week as the national Republican Party is funding TV ads in Ohio trying to compare France and Germany’s obstruction of US war plans in Iraq to Ohio Senator George Voinovich’s unwillingness to rubber-stamp Bush’s budget-busting child-abusive tax cut on stock dividends. This is appalling beyond words and I can only hope the Republicans will do more of the same to show that behind the red, white and blue they’ve draped themselves in is simply pure red…complete with pitchfork, horns and forked tongue. Fidel would be proud.

    The Republicans are also closer to Cuba than Democrats in their willingness to do business with oppressive Communist dictatorships. Sure, the GOP still pays anti-Cuba lip service to appease the Cuban-American bigshot wannabes in South Florida so they’ll keep racing to the polls to vote for Republicans and starve their former Havana neighbors in the process. However, the GOP’s newfound humanity for “liberating oppressed peasants” has somehow missed the most populated and longest-standing Communist dictatorship left…China. Democrats, including most of the Bay Area delegation, would like to see human-rights safeguards and labor safeguards in place before signing trade agreements that could potentially force a liberated China, but not Republicans. Republicans are perfectly willing to turn their back and give a wink and a nod to China’s brutal Communist dictatorship since they’re in collusion with many top Republican campaign contributors who operate sweatshops packed with nine-year-old girls working 120 hours a week. Republicans are more than willing to pretend they don’t see the blood stains of college students run over by tanks on the streets of Beijing for dissenting against the Communist regime that has recently become so profitable for America in general and Republican party constituents specifically.

    So congratulations. How does it feel to be closer aligned with the Castro regime than Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Lee?

  2. Man…are you full of some bullshit! Take a good hard kiss of my lefty Royal Canadian Ass! T.R. Jenkins- Toronto, Canada

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