Again, the Democrats are trying to spam online polls and sent thousands of astroturf letters to newspapers in order to create the perception that Kerry won the final debate.
So, The Kerry Spot suggests a little debate jujitsu to show how ridiculous this tactic is. The Kerry campaign can’t crow about a bunch of surveys that show Kerry winning by ridiculous margins. He suggests also sending some outlandish letters to the editor as well. Here’s mine:
Dear Editor,
I’ve been a lifelong Republican, but I’m now voting for John Kerry. George W. Bush is a tool of Halliburton, the Saudis, Zionists, Big Oil, Big Pharmaceuticals, Small-But-Has-A-Lot-Of-Heart Oil, the Trilateral Commission, and the Beta Reticulan Grays. Under Bush’s so-called leadership, trillions of jobs have been lost, Michael Moore has been taken to a secret concentration camp in the deserts of Alaska, there’s more arsenic in the water, and flouridation has sapped our precious bodily fluids. And Bush’s “war on terrorism” is nothing more than a sinister plot to get Iraqi people rich enough to afford American consumer goods and make them eat McDonalds so that they all die of coronary disease and we can take their oil.
John Kerry is a war hero who personally defeated Genghis Khan in the jungles of Cambodia during the Battle of Waterloo in the Vietnam War. John Edwards personally saves little bunnies, and if I were a woman I’d have his baby – and I’d know that he’d make sure I had the right to abort it later. When John Kerry is elected, the crippled will be healed, Osama bin Laden will turn himself in, and Britney will go back to being a hot schoolgirl rather than a used-up trailer park bimbo. In fact, by the end of the first 100 days we’ll amend the Constitution as to make him President for Life.
Then again, knowing some newspaper editors, they’d probably agree with it…
