The United States has been shaken by Islamic terrorism as a brave US plastic figurine has been captured by Islamic militants. The soldier, apparently named “John Adams”, believed to be a veteran of the battles against the evil Cobra Command is being held by a group claiming to the the “Iraq’s Jihadi Battalion”, which is possible an offshoot of the “Al-Aqsa Bratz Martyr’s Brigade” which took responsibility for the bombing of the Barbie Malibu Dream Home last year.

In all seriousness, this is an example of some really desperate jihadis or the cause of Islamofascism got totally punk’d…

No word if Team America will be sent to their rescue.

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