Only Jonah Goldberg can combine Marcus Aurelius, The Silence of the Lambs, and Cookie Monster and turn it into insightful social commentary.
He asks the question we’ve all asked at one time or another:
If the Cookie Monster is no longer a cookie monster, what is he? Why didnâ€™t they just name him â€œPhil: The Monster Who Sometimes Likes to Eat a Cookieâ€? Conceptually, this is no different than the idiot animal rights types who want their dogs and cats to be vegans, too. Cookie Monster cannot help being a Cookie Monster any more than your tabby can stop liking fish. It is their nature to do so. Why not just declare that Big Bird is now an elm tree? If the ineffable, inexorable, immutable nature of Cookie Monsterâ€™s cookie-eating can be erased for some good cause, why should Big Birdâ€™s birdness be safe?
Just wait until 2009 when the Asian bird flu outbreak causes CTW to conclude that birds are just too scary, and changes Big Bird into a transgendered jive-talking marmot who’s engaged in a torrid cross-species affair with Snuffleupagus…