The latest poll of the Amerikkkan electorate from the pristigious Department of Political Scientist at Miskatonic University in Arkham, MA shows that the 2004 Presidential race has just been turned on its head.
The evil imperalistic pig-dog Bush has pulled ahead with a slight lead against the slightly less evil pig-dog Kerry, but the real surprise is that upstart non-Euclidian-party challenger Cthulhu has pulled ahead of both Kerry and Bush. The current results of the race look something like this:
* George W. Bush (Evil capitalist pig-dog Republican) – 1.51%
* John F. Kerry (Quasi-evil capitalist pig-dog Democrat) – 1.49%
* Cthulhu (Grand Old Ones Party) – 97%
Cthulh campaign spokesman Lavinia Whateley stated that the sudden appearance of the long-sleeping Elder God on the political scene was due to several factors:
America wants real change in politics. We’re sick of voting for the lesser of two evils – what America needs is a new, more muti-dimensional approach to politics. Cthulhu is not only a candidate who is serious on national defense issues like terrorism, but also supports the fiscally responsible approach of slowly driving Congress mad before tearing them apart limb from limb and shoveling their hideously deformed remains into his gaping maw. Iä Iä Cthulhu ftagn!
Spokesmen for the Bush and Kerry campaigns refused to comment on the new Cthulhu challange, but already the Elder God has gathered support in key voting blocs. Noted artist Richard Upton Pickman has already come out in support of Cthulhu’s campaign:
From the lakes of Minnesota to the mind-shattering Plateau of Leng, it’s clear that this dimension needs a change – that’s why I’m voting for Cthulhu in 2004!
